mental illness
-
Uninspired
… I’m not sure what’s happening to me right now. I was super motivated when this week began and then suddenly it’s just… I don’t know. I’m starting to worry that my mental state is deteriorating again. I’ve had hours today to complete an assignment that only takes me on average 2 hours… but it’s Continue reading
-
Accountability
I have a problem. It’s a frustrating one and hails from the days when I was actually able to go out and work. Back then, I always fretted about being able to pay bills. After a while, I stopped constantly spending with the cards because I was struggling to pay them off quickly. I was Continue reading
-
Is This Early?
That I wasn’t completely out of my mind, just sick from two different mental illnesses that parallel each other, then collide over and over again. Or maybe I am out of my mind… Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in my body. I probably need to talk to my psychiatrist again about that. https://healthmatters.nyp.org/understanding-difference-bipolar-borderline-personality-disorder I Continue reading
-
Soft Spoken Words
I’m not tired. That sucks. But I think I had a weird semi-nap today. I also unfortunately had my dinner late, so I have to sit up to try and mitigate my chances of having terrific heartburn. And by terrific, I mean absolutely terrible. I did most of my chores today, but my left knee Continue reading
-
Recalibrating
I completely forgot that I was supposed to get a phone call from the doctor and not an in office visit today. Which means I ended up at the doctor’s office without an actual appointment. Now, the doctor still took me in and saw me regardless. She explained that my dosing schedule was throwing things Continue reading
-
Unsteady
I was unaware that there’s a strange half-life or 75% or summat for my mood stabilizer. The antidepressant is extended release, but the mood stabilizer? No. So the doctor said it’s a possibility that I’m as off-kilter as I am due to unregulated medication uses. Struggling to maintain some sense of order in my life Continue reading
-
1-2-3 HEAVE
Yup. Still very much manic. I want to get the cleaning stuff done already. My sinuses are 10x better when I dust and vacuum. Still dealing with racing thoughts… unfortunately. I keep promising myself that either I get a good night’s sleep or I’ll go and clean up the entire house. Then, I decide on Continue reading
-
Oh No…
Here I am, wondering why I feel like my brain won’t shut off and why on earth I’m running on less than three hours of sleep a day… I’m going through mania again. I think… the last time I did this, it was the same thing. I’m on a mood stabilizer, but I do know Continue reading
-
Hyped Off A Feeling
For the longest time, I’ve wondered and dreamt about what it would be like if I could build my own home. I got hooked into the Sims 4 back in 2019 after my surgery since I figured I could at least drown out my feelings in the game. Well, now I still wonder what it Continue reading
-
Incapable Of Innocence
You come to know how bad things are… when you pray in gratitude for making it into your home. Which is exactly what I did tonight. I thanked God Almighty that I was able to get into my home safe and sound. I’ve felt tired and ill most of the day, so I delayed taking Continue reading
Hey, Miss J! 