Introspection
-
…Drifting…
It’s the strangest sensation… To feel as if I’m separating. And I’m separating from everything and everyone. I wasn’t able to see my psychiatrist this month, which is not good. At all. I’ve noticed a hyper fixation on drowning out my awareness of time. It started around September last year, I think. Like this: Hours… Continue reading
-
Free Trip~Floating
I’ve spent hours going in circles over what I have in terms of budgeting. 75% of my income goes to bills so… ~J. Lyst Even though a $80+ water bill is painful… the $200+ gas bill is more painful. And it feels like I’m being spited, because we had weather with temperatures that felt like… Continue reading
-
Back~Lashed
It’s painful, and irritating. 3 weeks being trapped in the house. 3 weeks where the most human interaction I had was from 6 feet away. The 1st day I get out, I deal with a medical professional who allows an MRI to go through even though she sees I keep twitching. All for them to… Continue reading
-
BD – My Granddad
My grandfather did many things for me. He was always with me. He used to carry me around on his shoulders. He would send me and my grandma on vacations. He took us out to eat. My granddad and grandma raised me. My parents had barely any involvement at all. I was encouraged to work… Continue reading
-
Tome Time – The 1st??
8:12pm – 8:25pm I know this isn’t the first time that I copy over a post from my paper journal, but it feels so odd. I realize… In a way, I am still hurting from my surgery. I know the reality of the situation. An intimate look at my life… that is what this is.… Continue reading
-
Soooo Gross…
It’s more than what’s on this list. ~J. Lyst Continue reading
-
Letters To My Mom – Sometimes The World Needs To Stop
So, I had to put Mixx down. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I never thought I’d pen anything like this as a letter to my mother. But… Losing this particular pet was difficult. For context, my mother died in 2019, and she was very fond of my first cat… Continue reading
-
In Actuality
The first person who comes to mind is Jesus Christ. His success wasn’t measured in material wealth. Instead, it was measured in the lives of those he taught and in the sacrifice he made for us all. He did what no other man could. Then, I thought of Paul, who put in countless miles and… Continue reading
-
Queen of Wistful Nightmares
Still scrambling. Still confused. I’m about to drag myself downstairs to take my medication. Unfortunately, I need drugs to stay alive. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t touch any of this stuff. I’m going to avoid realityTV. After watching “Little Women: NY,” I found myself screaming at the people on the screen. Size does not dictate… Continue reading
-
Letters To My Mom – We All Cope Different Ways
Hey, There are so many things I wanted to say. I do say some of it now, but it’s all in my head and to myself. I still miss you so much. And talking to myself… it’s not the same as talking to you. I know what the real state of the dead is… that… Continue reading
Hey, Miss J! 