Hey, Miss J!

I have put the final nail in the coffin. The pain, frustration and tears from yesterday have been wiped away.

I have noticed – right away – that I’m sitting up taller.

On the inside, and outwardly, I’ve been releasing shuddering breaths, so happy to be free. While it is true in most cases… that we don’t know what we have until it’s gone – it is exactly the opposite for me.

I crave the peace that this separation brings me. I roll in it, smear it all over my face and chest. It feels good in ways I can never describe.

As a writer, I should be able to do that. Being descriptive is almost second-nature to me. Not in this case though.

I’ve experienced on a small scale the sensation of a massive weight lifting off my shoulders before. Those brief spurts were few and far between.

… And no, I don’t mean at the gym, even though I’ve physically felt that there too.

This is the feeling of weight lifting off my heart and mind. I mentioned in my last blog post that I felt that horrible pressure again. I’ve stood up for myself – which pushed that back in its place.

However, I see the same warnings from the last time and instead of doing the same merry dance, I am separating myself from the situation.

Completely.

At current, I am debating either making myself a collage or just buying a corkboard and tacking positive messages to it. I found out back in 2019 that my mother made these collages.

No clue what on earth she was trying to say with it, but I’m sure it meant a lot of to her.

Hmm. I also have no clue what to do in terms of a collage either.

… I think I’ve figured out what I’ll do.

I used to have a lot of stuff magnetically stuck to my door and fridge.

I shall buy a bunch of miniature magnets and stuck stuff to the fridge.

Still gonna get a corkboard though… for my bedroom.

And I have just the perfect space to hang it up too…

~J. Lyst

Hoping for writing to be gotten in, but I have a lot to do in just 4 hours.

Eww.

Responsibility.