Hey, Miss J!

I suppose I should go back to the beginning a bit. I remember that I began this blog as a means to draw attention to my YouTube pages and point people to my social media accounts.

Then, as most things in my life, I became overwhelmed. I took a huge step backwards. And I retreated to WordPress, redirected all of my traffic on the social media platforms to WordPress and became reclusive on my channels.

Well, I have absolutely no problem in announcing that I will not be updating my YouTube pages at all. I’m not even going to delete them. I’m going to be avoiding YouTube like the plague.

Its “Shorts” can be dicey. I even found one that was an inappropriate video of a child.

It’s like TikTok without warmed Crisco making it even more sloppy. TikTok drags you from videos of kittens or cooking into some foul things. I don’t like gross things so yeah… no can do.

Honestly, this sort of reminds me of the benefits when I finally decided to cut out the cable. I also got set up with a few programs. My bill has now dropped from $170+ to $102. Living in this city, I have a bunch of free channels I can watch on TV. For access to them, all I had to do was drop like $10 on an antenna for the TV downstairs.

Now, the range of the antenna downstairs isn’t the best because it’s a tiny lil thing. I think maybe 20 channels there – 25 depending – if the antenna’s being propped up at all.

… Too bad RadioShack doesn’t exist anymore. Circuit City got hamstringed before them.

And yes, I remember when BlockBusters existed too.

And ToysRUs. Ugh…

Checking to see if Chuck E Cheese still exists…

…/Loading/…

The PIZZA MOUSE still exists!

I think my channels upstairs are like 68 or so. I am amused by the fact that my television is older than my cat. If I remember right, the TV was bought back in 2002. She’s a big old fat girl. I call my TV “Big Bertha” because my arms have no hope of getting around it at all. And that’s as polite as I can describe it. I’ve also referred to the TV as “one of the OG fat backs”.

CRT television… Gotta love it. However, I have a converter box attached. You know… before converter boxes were cool and were an actual necessity.

I was so sad when analog TV went under.

After the cable dip, I worried about not being able to see Doctor Pol. Turns out that it’s fine. I have a channel on Roku that covers his show.

I had a very enlightening conversation today; about how negative my conversation tends to be. The person who stated this has known me for some time, and I appreciated her saying that. She said that just listening to me made her depressed.

I know that misery likes company, but even I don’t want to be my own company in that!

I had foolishly reestablished contact with my family, but away all of them go.

Each one.  

I am a very ill, very broken individual that thankfully has no STDs… but I don’t need the chaos, and I was starting to not like how I felt about things at all.

None of it. I was being bombarded on all sides with a whole bunch of nonsense.

It was scary… I felt like I was beginning to fray at the edges… like I was about to slide into a place that I didn’t want to be in at all anymore.

I started this on Sunday, but tonight, I went fully scorched earth. Blocked people, then deleted their contacts. I completely turned over my dad’s information to his sister, which literally severs the last solid tie I really had to him at all.

I have a stack of medical papers to send back and once that’s done, arrivederci.

I was a caretaker for my family for years… and I suppose I got stuck in that mindset of “but they need me.” That’s the furthest thing from the truth.

I don’t need other people using me to validate my existence.

My evening has already been very peaceful. And quiet.

Except when my ancient cat started howling like a banshee a few hours ago. And I do mean howl. I have no idea how she can fit so much power in such a tiny furry body.

~J. Lyst

WordPress just told me that it’s my 2-year anniversary today! Which is great…

But where are the wine and flowers?

I’ll even take chocolate if that’s all there is.

No?

Pfft. Cheapskate.