Hey, Miss J!

@ 12:14AM – Sometimes I’m so miserable that I don’t see a way out from this. The constant pain… it’s just unreal.

I was supposed to stay up a bit later, but let’s be honest here… I have no energy to stay up longer.

Just like I’ve barely had any energy to do much at all this week.

@9:44AM – I woke up at 7AM, after getting what used to be plenty of sleep. But… I just felt like falling over, crying, and going back to sleep. So that’s what I did. Not the falling over and crying bit… but going back to sleep.

I then proceeded to sleep through my second and third alarm… and wake up after 9am. So once again, taking my medicine later than I should. Every inch of my body is almost shaking from fatigue and muscle pain.

My cats have been extremely clingy to me lately. It’s like they think I’m sick. Maybe they think I’m dying. Some days, I feel like I am, everything hurts so much.

I find it disturbing that after having a long nap yesterday, the sleep I had overnight wasn’t enough. The sleep I had after going back to sleep today was not enough.

@ 11:06PM

A friend of mine visited around 3 today. Spent several hours here and offered some encouragement. I told her how much the discomfort I experienced daily was severe to the extent that half the time, I didn’t want to wake up at all. Pain makes my life so miserable.

Years ago, I assumed that mental anguish was the worse thing ever, but constantly being in pain and being barely able to move? That right there… That’s far worse than the mental pain. My muscles always… always feel sore now.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s the constant weather shifting that makes everything hurt more.

Maybe I have to just push more to keep moving?

In the past, I always pushed through discomfort and pain, but it was never at the level it’s at now.

I’m about to have a consult to rule out multiple sclerosis. If that’s not what I have, there has got to be some other reason that’s caused me to deteriorate so severely in such a short span of time.

I think I’ll hit the Sims a bit tonight. After everything else I need to do.

One of my sims is supposed to have her kid. Then, I hopefully will be able to transition to a different family.

~J. Lyst

I do have a lesson to try to get done tonight. I’m in between three languages. I think tonight it’ll be Spanish. Arabic is… quite complex and complicated. It’s more complicated than French, tbh. Or Spanish… and I say this because the letter aren’t anything I recognize by any stretch of anyone’s imagination.