Hey, Miss J!

Ah… Monday. The kind of day to venture forth and do the things… the things that do the do!

I hope I’m still alive by the time this blog post and podcast are read.

The idea sounds dark and so depressing, but with the speed that my health is deteriorating… I’ve started to feel extremely grateful for each day.

I’ve had additional backpains ever since my last Covid booster and when it began… I worried that my kidneys were failing.

My anxiety means that every time I have a muscle spasm in my chest, I worry if it’s a heart attack or if some other body part is about to fail. Stomach aches and pains have me worried that my intestines are tearing or that another organ – maybe my spleen – is about to start staging a protest and rupture on me. Headaches always make me worried I’m about to have a stroke…

Being anxious of course would make my blood pressure worse…

Morbid, yes.

However, If I’m not alive when this blog post and podcast go up, I’m so sorry.

That’s said with sincerity and not at all any sarcasm. It’s possible that my dad might want to hear or read my final words. If you know me and that something terrible has happened, please let him know how much I love him.

I want so much to be able to help him, but my hands were tied and are still tied now.

If I’m deceased, they are not going to be untied.

Still, I want him to find happiness. I don’t know how it could be done… but could one of you take up calling him or texting him to make sure he’s alright?

Now… if my dad’s the one who has died, please call me and make sure I’m alright…

I only have one parent left…

It’s a difficult pill to swallow.

~J. Lyst

This is the last of my pre-writes! Hopefully, I’m fully cognizant and have posted something earlier today and completely forgotten this was set to be released. This is October 23, 2023.

And it is nearly 2am.

Now I need to start recording for my more up to date podcasts. I like to record 2 days ahead.