Hey, Miss J!

A big problem can be found if we’re not careful with what we allow to come out of our mouths.

And some have bigger mouths than others.

I shouldn’t have to say this, and no doubt I’ve said this time and time again by the time this blog post is visible, but it still rings true.

I’m not a woman known for having a lot of tact… but of late, I’ve been keeping my mouth shut if I think it’ll cause problems. Sometimes I mess up, and I can tell mid-statement. In the past, I would just double down on it and keep going… but these days?

Nothing but straight up cringe.

I don’t like to make myself cringe… it doesn’t feel good at all.

And in this case… it was yet another person hammering at my already fragile sensitivities.

I don’t understand why some of my female ‘friends,’ and mind I say that with quotation marks. I don’t understand why some of my supposed friends say things that they know will smack right against my anxieties.

If I make a decision about something, they insert themselves along with their prejudices… and I can’t stand it. I can’t.

I wanted this blog and podcast to be a positive one, but as you can see… even now I still have things I need to work on.

For reference, this is a pre-written post from October 23^rd, 2023. Why am I posting up something so far in advance?

It’s in the hopes that the fears they intentionally provoked never come to fruition. I don’t want it to.

I don’t ever want to go back in that direction. Not again.

It’s so bad that I took my anxiety medication, which means that I’m going to have a rough time waking up. Yeah, it’s late. It’s after midnight… but I’m trying hard to be calm and not frustrated.

Or angry.

Oh… it is so easy for me to get angry if I’m not careful.

~J. Lyst

I have no honest idea how angry I sound in the audio recording… but I’m pretty sure when I recorded it, I was furious.