Hey, Miss J!

Today been crossing my eyes, wiggling my toes, yawning and yeah…

Doing barely anything.

I think the weather outside is having an unwanted effect.

Just… snow everywhere.

I’ve had to cancel three appointments this week, due to the snow.

Also, I’ve been working on my final expenses. I’m terrified to find out if I’ll even be approved for life insurance, and then what on earth will I end up paying every month?

I feel so stupid sometimes… I should have started this years ago, when I wasn’t so sick.

I know what it looks like when family is left handling your final expenses. I had to deal with it three times in a row.

My grandmother and grandfather on mom’s side had no arrangements. Then, my mother had no arrangements. The stress of dealing with my mother’s final expenses was so extreme… that it wrecked my health.

And now? My father has no arrangements. Nor does my aunt.

Honestly… I’m not going to stress out over them though. I can’t afford to.

I’m trying to get stuff taken care of for myself.

It’s so very grim though… people don’t like talking about their own death and the things that come afterwards.

I hate it too, but it must be done.

Maybe that’s what has me in a tizzy? I’m struggling to deal with the reality of my health gradually worsening, trying to keep myself as active as I can to hold off what might end up happening.

Then, I have some bright spots… like watching my cats doing a Battle Royale every three hours. A slow… battle to be frank.

Got my friends too, and my hobbies.

Haven’t done any drawing in a while though.

Got my night time reading and lesson to tackle tonight too.

I spose I need to head in that direction.

After I grab my gum.

~J. Lyst

Benztropine led to dry mouth that I’m still struggling with now. I only took it once… weeks ago and am still dealing with that.

Pfft.