Exhaustion. Exhilaration. Embarrassment. Excitement. All of these are words I can use to describe how I’m feeling right now. I’m exhausted because I’ve spent most of my entire day editing for NtC. I’m exhilarated because I’ve revised up to chapter 21 out of 23. Which means that I’ve actually edited for three of the five brand new chapters I penned for NanoWrimo 2023.
Now… I’m literally burning the candle at both ends. I want the bulk of these new chapters up as of tomorrow morning. Looking at the clock, I know it’ll be tomorrow… I’ve been sitting on my keister editing, cutting out, editing again… sobbing… rubbing my eyes.
All the things.
I’m embarrassed because I keep misspelling ‘embarassed embarrassed’ and my computer has to fix it for me. So many spelling errors. My laptop picked up at least one in the original NtC chapters.
I’m currently elbow deep in chapters that haven’t been touched since they were first written.
Of course, when I get to chapter 18, I’ll add a bit more ‘powder to the chamber,’ as the She-Hulk stated in one of the chapters.
Ooh!
Which one?
You’ll have to read to find out!
Seriously… I just read through what was most likely 6-700 pages to revise for this insanely long-winded fanfiction. It took me about three days to get as far as Chapter 21, with a bulk of it done today.
My notebook holds the evidence. I revised from Chapter 16 to Chapter 21. Six chapters. SIX. I had to read all six of them to edit them.
I will admit, near the end… I was swinging at open air. I was so tired. My eyes started crossing, and I was thumbing over pages to see if there were any slight errors. Then… I backtracked and read them properly.
In the middle of this… I ate sushi twice today.
At least I think that was today.
Was it…? I don’t remember.
I do remember having lots of fruit. No veggies unless the avocado and seaweed in my sushi counts as vegetables.
The stalemate and silence with my family is ongoing. It’s nice. Very nice.
I honestly want to throw up my hands and give up… and sleep for three days.
But… I can’t do that. I have to keep going and hopefully be able to have my gangrenous body hit the sheets by three am. Only to bounce back out of them at 9 in the morning…
And yes, gangrenous seems fitting… as I currently smell like I’m rotting.
Sad side effect of my meds. Stanking like slick and sweaty buttcrack on a sweltering day.
Only in the crotch for the most part.
Which is terrible…
I’m always so embarrassed when I have to use the bathroom in a public location… because I can smell the fumes so very easily.
I can wear one item of clothing for thirty minutes – like my thermals… and they start to hold the odor.
I’ve worn these thermals since 3PM today… I’m almost afraid to take them off.
Ugh… I’m going to rest my shoulder, eating some peanut butter crackers and get back to this.
But the shoulder needs rest. At least a brief one.
My right rotator cuff is cursing me out right now. And my right wrist…
~J. Lyst
Oh, how writers suffer for their art!
Oh, excited because I can give this to my readers! Nearly forgot that one.
Hey, Miss J! 
Your Thoughts?