Hey, Miss J!

I’m uncertain how to describe my feelings at current. For the last hour and a half, I’ve been reviewing old… very old stories that I wrote. I even found a romance novel that I wrote in 2001.

Yeah… long time ago.

Some of the stuff I wrote in the early 2000s was graphic and explicit.

Remember how I noted that sometimes I felt like my life was a rolling dumpster fire?

This time, I feel like I’m reading a real, bona fide dumpster fire! It’s… disconcerting.

I found old blog posts as well. As in written in a word document. This was more frustrating than finding my OLD blog on LiveJournal. I was such a… troubled youth.

I still deal with problems now, but still. Yeesh.

I dug up a very old fanfic that I do believe I can rewrite. Some of the prior readers might actually recognize it.

They might burst into glee upon finding me again or bring out the pitchforks and try to burn me for abandoning them.

Miss Ma’am has now grown up and is retaking old property. I found a different novel, and even though I wanted to try to use parts of it for something else… nope.

For context, the story was over 120 pages long. I had to delete all of that, get rid of over a month’s worth of work.

And yet…

Since most of my prior writing is not at all in tune with my present and future thought processes… It must get the boot.

It was far too filthy for me to ever try to revise or even revive. And that’s with me skipping all through the chapters.

I did find one humorous snippet, where one of the mains mentions that her skin tone was ingrown. And her companion retorted: “So is a toenail.”

I… maybe was laughing at the top of my lungs. Despite the humorous spots and there were some, I just couldn’t justify trying to revive that thing. The only remaining record was on this lone flash drive and that has now been poofed.

I also found a letter I’d written to an ex around 2002 or so?

Yep, that got hurled in the trash as well. Although I must say… I certainly wrote flowery when I needed (or wanted) to. And here I am thinking that I never could have written poetry.

I have a goal to remain awake tonight until my room and the cat’s room are nice and CLEAN. My writing just distracted me is all.

I wonder how my old fanfic will look – all grown up and such.

~J. Lyst

As a means to aid myself, I’ll be boxing up what excess paperwork that I can and am still shredding things. It’s unreal! And my new shredder is SOO pretty!

XXO