Hey, Miss J!

So, I had to put Mixx down. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I never thought I’d pen anything like this as a letter to my mother.

But…

Losing this particular pet was difficult. For context, my mother died in 2019, and she was very fond of my first cat and really liked the third one. That third cat was old back then.

All this time, my friends are suggesting that my old cat had dementia because she kept pooping everywhere.

And I do mean everywhere.

Plus, she was hunched up when she walked and seemed to strain in the litterbox.

But today, I realized something I should have noticed sooner.

Months ago, I saw how she was constantly drinking water… like it was a beverage going out of style. And the sheer volume of water kept increasing.

I figured she was drinking more water than eating at this point.

I assumed she was doing that because of thirst, but none of the other cats seemed to do that.

I would sit there and ask her why she kept doing that—and then feel terrible because she was so very very old…

Kidneys.

It was her kidneys that were the cause. When I was at the vet in December, I didn’t mention the water. When I visited the vet around May this year, I didn’t mention the water.

But I mentioned it today. The vet told me that it could be diabetes, but he was certain that it was her kidneys.

I feel like such an idiot.

CKD is likely what she had. Chronic Kidney Disease.

It causes poorly maintained fur, a hunched-up walking appearance due to kidney pain, weight loss, excessive thirst, confusion, and diarrhea, along with other problems.

And she kept pressing herself against the stove or any warm surface.

CKD can cause anemia, which makes one feel colder.

There are no ways for me to describe how stupid I feel right now.

My 22-year-old cat was suffering and hurting for months, and I’m giving her gabapentin for pain… assuming it was arthritis. She kept running around even without the medication, so I was very confused about what was hurting.

Maybe her back?

She was laying down and sleeping a lot more, but I attributed that all to age.

She ate, so I assumed she was fine.

Dumb.

I feel like a fool… then, I feel teary because I miss her. And I miss my mom, and this cat was the last one that was alive before my mother died.

So, right on the heels of a very pricey car repair bill, I turn around and go have the cat put down. This time, I opted to keep the ashes. And get an inked paw print. And that all costs so much money.

I feel so sorry I never did that for Jeri, but that was my first cat… and I was traumatized in a way I can’t describe.

So, I sunk back down into a depressed funk for a few days over the knowledge that the cat was going to be put down today.

The painful decision I wanted to avoid still had to go on.  

I had to schedule the drive there, then make sure I had the $300+ it costs for everything

When I neared the vet office, I almost burst into tears.

I never thought I would hurt this much over her, but I do.

All of the other cats swarmed around the empty cage after I got back home, looking through the bars and trying to figure out where she was.

I’ve been told that animals don’t notice, but I know they do. The babies all loved her.

I did too.

So, that’s the third cat I’ve taken to the exact same vet to be put down. I’m glad it was him. He’s been seeing her since I first got her.

Finally at peace though.

RIP Mixx.

April 10, 2003 – October 17, 2025.

~J. Lyst