Hey, Miss J!

I had to think very hard on this, because my life has been pretty simple and somewhat boring with very few odd hiccups in the road.

I also might have scratched my head after seeing some of the responses to this prompt and really felt like I did nothing at all.

I also felt somewhat intimidated. Have I ever done anything that’s a remote risk at all?

But…

It turns out I did do something.

I put myself “out there.”

I am a very shy person, and get uncomfortable in social situations. But, I put myself out there. Because I was willing to force myself out of my shell… and some days it is still a struggle… I was able to do several things.

I will talk with random people that no one has introduced me to, be it on the street or bus. I even speak with my drivers. I’ve had some pretty nice conversations.

I’ve made friends… with several people. I started a podcast, which I need to resume recording for. I’ve traveled to New York several times now, which is something I never thought I would do. I’ve gone to different restaurants to eat. I’ve shopped while out in different locations than before.

It may not seem like much, but you’d have to understand my POV to “get it.”

So…

I am very much a somewhat reclusive homebody, and I’m content to stay home and have mac n cheese or chicken stir-fry. Maybe eggs, grilled cheese… a salad perhaps. Or PBJs. Cereal for dinner. Which I will be doing shortly… Maybe get takeout from a restaurant that I know well. I tend to stick to the same exact foods or something similar when I’m out. I also tend to stick to the exact same eateries.

Now?

New places to eat, new people to eat with. Constant interaction with a very supportive network of people.

And on an even more personal note… I was finally able to get psychiatric help. I was willing to reach out for it and grab on with both hands… and both feet too. (I have prehensile toes I can grip or grab things with. More on that later!)

Which I needed. I needed for someone to understand and care.

I’ve allowed people into my home, which I was always told by my grandparents and mother… to never do.

I’ve started a YouTube channel, which I also need to resume recording for.

I also started this blog.

Some of what I’ve written could seem shameless, but then again, it is part of my therapy. And the really gritty stuff I can’t share here, I put in a paper journal. I told my dad if something bad happens, he can at least have an idea of how my mind worked. Though the blog here is a big example too.

The biggest one.

I put myself out there.

Yeah, I guess I did something risky after all.

~J. Lyst