Hey, Miss J!

I’m so confused right now. I took a hiatus off writing to give myself a chance to rest and relax. Instead, it’s starting to look like the opposite.

I have views but only 1 comment. Am I begging for them? I’m not trying to, but there is nothing there at all. Most of my reviews on fanfiction(dot)net are from people asking about commissions.

My last chapter was 51 pages long… Sometimes I feel like I’m causing myself unnecessary frustration. Because responses (at least on my end) do not equal the effort put in.

And now I have lots of time to sit and think…

So…

Let’s cover the basic and true facts about myself.

I have mentioned them periodically, but maybe we should have them in one place? Apologies if I’ve done this before.

Major Issue: I overshare.

          I am unabashedly unafraid to overshare, but I know it can be too much for some people. I like to explain why I’m so… me.

The Basics:

My pen name is Juliette Lyst.

My actual name won’t be listed on this blog.

I refuse to write Lemons. Please don’t ask.

I’ve been writing since at least 1994 so… yeah.

I am tactless. Since I’m unable to properly read social clues, I say things, such as blatant facts about things, which might be harmful to others. Working on just being quiet.

As I’ve had too many questions and confusion about this publicly, I am a woman and was listed as female on my birth certificate.

I was dishonest about my age when I signed up for websites under this pen name. I’m older. It’s more of a privacy thing. For some reason, I worry that someone will find my birthdate and tie everything together.

I am a Christian, and as such, many things I refuse to do as well as many things I willingly do are based on my conscience.

I am politically neutral, and have to work overtime to not focus on politics—seeing as it dominates the news. I know it will negatively affect how I treat other people. This is why I never bring up political topics on my page.

I am black, but that should not be confusing for anyone.

I’m also short. My father teases me for being under 5’5”, but then I remind him that he is 5’5”, so I had no chance of being taller.

I am a romantic and love fuzzy and soft things. This explains much of what can be found in my writing.

The Unseen Additives:

I abhor bullying and get very angry when I see it. My close friends know this, so if they have a problem with someone, they never tell me who it is.

I suffer from chronic conditions that include several physical as well as mental and emotional issues.

I am sensitive to many things.

          I don’t want to claim that my mental and emotional issues are at the heart of it. Don’t want to seem that I’m avoiding responsibility. However, the reason I behave and think the way I do is because of these very issues. I admit responsibility because there might be a few things I can hold off… but not many.

I am angry, depressed and resigned over the fact I had a hysterectomy. I lean more to being very depressed some days.

          The fact I keep bringing up this topic shows that.

I feel guilt. About everything.

I’ve always worried what other people thought about me… at times to my own detriment. I am extremely self-conscious.

I have family issues, some of which have been resolved. Some =/= All

I’m also depressed about the fact that I’m still unmarried. But I know that the problems I have would make me a very bad candidate for marriage. I wouldn’t want a husband to go through my personal madness.

I’ve recently broken down many aspects of myself and categorized them based on which mental illness affected them. That blog post is private. Read it to my psychiatrist. She was horrified to find out that I post about myself publicly. She also told me that some of it, she’s not qualified to deal with… so I need to find a secondary therapist.

I need to seek out a trauma therapist that takes my insurance.

Sorry this post wasn’t any better.

~J. Lyst

I’m nearly 40, so pulling ‘all nighters’ to get some writing done is not exactly the best idea…

Now, time for chores.

Eww.

I also need to eat.