Hey, Miss J!

I’m doing my best not to get overwhelmed. I know that tonight, I’m supposed to take my hydroxyzine with the gabapentin, but I’m honestly no sure if I should take the hydrox… Because I have to be up early tomorrow…

Then again, so as to not make a fool of myself…

Ughg…

I’m at the stage in my life where I get really, really irritated that I need to take so much medication.

However, if I want to keep remaining a functional member of this society, I need to.

I recently found out that an issue with my medical insurance was stable and settled. Which is good… because my medication would cost over $1,000 per month if I had to pay out of pocket.

I would have nearly no money for food and no money for bills.

The medications for my lungs are close to $900… just the two of them.

Though I was concerned about other aspects, such as my psychiatric care, I did my best to remain calm and waited to figure out what was going on.

Thankfully, things are good.

The only things I seem to be straining and stressing myself over now is my writing regimen. I’m still trying to figure out how to total everything up with everything else I need to do in a day.

I have a loaf proofing that will be baking very soon and preserves that are nearly done. That is thankfully possible through the use of two separate bread machines.

While I’m waiting, I’ll work on straightening my office and room. And getting some of the laundry sorted.

It’s… strange how I’m starting to find comfort in things I used to see as very mundane.

But, let’s be real too. I missed out on about three days of cleaning because of editing. I can’t do that again.

Mentally, I’ll also be working on a new chapter for C&R. Dad mentioned something about hair… and my imagination went wild with it.

The outline for NtC needs to be revisited too. I also need to make sure that I keep up with my reading and lessons. I’ve found that my life is becoming more peaceful… the further I go.

Even communication with my family has improved… in leaps and bounds.

Though I am still wary, I’m trying to… let them in just a little.

I might cut off contact for a while later on, but its not a bad right now.

I try to urge my dad away from too much negativity in our conversations. I can’t handle it well at all anymore.

Sometimes—it seems like as soon as I acknowledged I had a problem—everything started falling in. Stuff caved in.

Like how my spine seems to now be bending under pressure.

I still think that last vaccination did that, because the sharp pains started after I had it. Mind, I needed it, because I get sick so easily… but I’m so mad about it still.

Then again, there’s so much that’s happened in my life that I could be even angrier about.

But… Is there a point to hanging onto things… past mistakes and problems that I can never fix?

I’m working hard not to do that anymore.

I’m also looking at these ‘Shorts’ proposals in my notebook.

Ah… I don’t know if I can do all of these. I’m not exactly a huge fan of Batman, and this seems just a tad bit over the top.

But I do love “Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs!” The idea for that one might go off well.

Well, that’s enough of my frittering time away, time to tidy.

Ew.

But it needs be done, and I’m always overjoyed when my room is nice and clean.

~J. Lyst

Hopefully I can get the kitten’s new vest soon… cos she’s starting to stink—and I’m trying to figure out how on earth to get her genitals clean without her clawing me up. I might have to just let it go until she’s out of the supportive vest. She can clean herself then!