Hey, Miss J!

This year is nearly over… So much has happened.

What’s so amusing about that is I don’t remember most of it.

Certain parts, yeah… but not a lot.

In the past, I would be upset over that. Now though… I don’t really care.

There were many things I hoped for… for years. I was used to being disappointed at times and suffering. Suffering seems to be something impossible to avoid.

However… something I’ve realized is that it all depends on perspective.

I’ve been reminded that it’s important to love myself. For years, I hated myself… because of things I had no control over.

Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes… but not all of the things that happened to me was due to my own poor choices.

The state of my health… it could always be worse. The fear over paying for my meds? That too could always be worse. Affording my pets… well.

That all depends.

Cutting out toxic people has allowed me to live more in the moment. That doesn’t mean I don’t make long-term goals… but it does mean that I have more time to work on such plans.  

My days sometimes seem the same. Roll out of bed. Try to accomplish something while I have the energy. Fall back into bed.

But… I’m not nearly as stressed and physically sick as I was back in 2019. For a long time, I had instances with my back, pain in my chest—stabbing pain in the chest, mind… it was all building up to where I am now.

Now, I can’t handle much stress. My lifestyle helps me avoid that. I’m unable to lift or even dream of pushing my body like I used to.

But… I’m okay with that.

Except when I have to struggle to open a jar.

It would be so much easier to have help for that.

~J. Lyst

Today, I tried to find a different sugar substitute instead of Splenda.

Stevia made me so sick… so it and monk fruit are going back tomorrow.

I’ve also been nodding off by writing this. Sorry if it’s incoherent.

Got stuff in the AM.

Bye!