Hey, Miss J!

I have had instances where I wondered if my reactions to something was all an overaction to what I’d see or experienced. Was I truly belittled? Was I being insulted?

I honestly have no clue. My point of view is very different than what might have occurred. I’ve worked hard in the last year to watch what comes out of my mouth. Even what comes out in my mind.

This is why I’ve further pulled myself from social media platforms.

Though stubborn and raised to behave a certain way, I know that I can be influenced to think and act in ways I would not normally. I don’t want the thoughts of other people… who don’t have my best interest in mind… to have any effect on me.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t use profanity in my fanfictions. I’ll reiterate that, because I’m not a fan of it. I actually despise it, so I avoid it.

However, when scrolling through videos or reading other fics online, I’ve begun to notice a disturbing pattern. And since I still have a young impressionable mind, I figured it was best to get out of the situation.

My life of late has been very peaceful and boils down to a few things. Though I believed myself previously to be only somewhat social, I’ve learned that I am very much so.

Though I am a woman of few words while speaking. I hesitate often because of my speech impediment. Even so, I enjoy being around my friends. At times, I just sit and listen to their chatter. I don’t speak much unless it’s a topic I have some knowledge of.

I think this entire blog post is just a giant stream of consciousness. I have no clue where it will go now, where it was meant to go at first, or when any of it came to mind. I suppose when I put my fingers on the keys and chose a title, perhaps?

No clue. I just know that lately, I’ve felt very languid, and I’m uncertain if it’s from my medication, boredom… or both?

No clue why I have periods where I’ve felt bored, because I always have something to keep my mind occupied. Lately, I’ve sunken heavily into jigsaw puzzles.

At current, I have one that I wish to complete… but I also need to clean tonight.

For several hours.

This means my sleep will be cut a bit short.

If I opt for entertainment first, it takes away from my actual chore time. I’m not now nor have I ever been a fan of chores.

That said, I do enjoy having clean surroundings and between extreme fatigue, wasting time on entertainment and the new cat… there’s piles of dust, trash and dirt everywhere. I’m also furious because I see little paw prints on my sink. All the time. If I want the bathroom to stay print free, I have to keep the door closed.

The main time I plan to keep the door closed is at bedtime because I want to take a shower and brush my teeth and be comfortable that nothing small and furry has had its way with my plumbing fixtures.

~J. Lyst

I’ve also printed out a ‘grouped’ copy of my layout. If I time everything correctly, I should have free time on Sunday or Monday to actually do some writing. Here’s hoping I’m not foolish tonight.

Rewards are only good if you’ve actually earned them. Otherwise, they’re pretty hollow.

I’ve already done my reading for today. So all I need now is to breeze through Duolingo, take my nighttime meds and get to work.

I tend to fail… but I hope that isn’t the case tonight.