Hey, Miss J!

Tired.

I’m tired, but excited at the same time. Plumbing work is ongoing in the house. Work is also ongoing (as far as I know) on the car.

I’m trying to put more effort into what I need to.

For myself physically… mentally.

Keeping that contact cut grows easier day by day. Yet… I want to call my dad. I’ve actually had dreams where I called him, that’s how much I would love to resume contact.

However, … I know that if I want to stay healthy with a decent mindset, I need to maintain the distance.

Over the years, I’ve gone in the wrong direction to find a way to cope with what I deal with psychologically.

I’m glad that I’m doing better now.

There was a whole – like – five paragraphs I deleted.

I had to look at them and reconsider.

I’m trying so hard to keep my gaze forward and stop leaning back on the past. Often, looking back for me brings up bad memories and old resentments.

It’s not easy. I’m dealing with well over three decades of poorly developed habits.

I’m also dealing with the realities of serious health issues.

I’m trying to imitate one of my friends who always smiles and giggles. She is always so upbeat.

I want to be like that.

So, I work on being happier every day, even if my initial inclination is not so positive.

~J. Lyst

I look forward to reviewing my blog posts years from now and only see how I was getting better.

Day by day.

Now, it’s time to do my Duolingo, my nightly reading and go to bed.