Hey, Miss J!

I’m trying very hard these days to avoid putting myself in a bad situation. When I was younger – in my 20s – I was not the best at making decisions. Even in my early 30s, I wasn’t doing that well.

I had problems even ordering food for myself without help.

However, I’m trying hard now… because I notice the less drama I let myself fall into, the better I feel. I went to high school and college with people who seemed to live, breathe and eat chaos.

And even though ‘life in chaos’ is one of my tags, it is not because I seek it out. Sometimes strange things happen that I have no way of explaining. Sometimes the state of my mind isn’t the best, and I suffer because of it. Or I do something stupid because of something my messed up mind conjured up.

I’ve even adjusted what I allow myself to watch. Emphasis on allow. I am a grown adult… even though I am the size I am. Which means I can make decisions on what I want to expose myself to.

So… on most days, my pet and I watch CatTV or I watch something on Amazon Prime. I have to be leery on Hulu, and even though I could get Netflix in my mobile plan, I refuse. The last time I looked – nothing at all on Netflix tickled my fancy.

I tried to explain to someone recently that since they stated that everyone could have their own view – that means that if I find something disgusting, it means that I find it to be so, not that anyone else would. Though I’m really not a fan of sticky candy – or most of them at all, I wouldn’t tell anyone else not to eat it.  

I eat stuff that other people find disgusting. Would I shame them for saying it was? No. I try hard not to easily be offended and if I am, I try very hard not to show it.

I would not verbally attack anyone for saying something I didn’t agree with. I don’t have the energy nor the inclination to do that. It is way too much work.

Though I’ve had it happen to me fairly often, because – as I’m aware and have been told – what other people say is always of more value than what I do. I should also aways verbally agree with others… even if I really don’t.

So of course, I consider it… because my thoughts are worthless.

That is most certainly sarcasm. I am not one to sit on my hands, but I refuse to get into long-standing debates about nothing.

I don’t know.

Maybe I’m not verbalizing my thoughts better? I always seem more coherent when I write things down.

This might explain why I enjoy writing so much… though at times, I have problems understanding when I review it.  

Which is why Navigating the Curve is causing me so much frustration. As I review the umm… It’s really a book at this point, over 600 pages long. Re-reading it, I find areas that have errors, but can’t remember where they are because I keep going.

~J. Lyst

Today was a wet day. Extremely moist. I enjoy thunderstorms and was able to record it to share with my family. My dad said the video made him feel dizzy.

No clue why.

… Although he did say that he’s dizzy pretty much all the time. Not sure if he means physically though.

Hmm.

How curious.