Hey, Miss J!

Does it matter who it is? Isn’t it fine?

I’m worried right now… but not as much as I used to.

I felt almost frantic most of the day… I recognize it now as my mania acting up again.

I think I’ve been off the rails for three days now.

Without my manual… without my controls.

It’s absolutely awful! I think the stress of having all the work done this past week caused this… along with me having things in the house that I shouldn’t have.

Like candy. Mmm…

Which of course triggered my ED…

I don’t think I’ve had “real” food in four days now.

I feel burnt out, frustrated and angry. What I’m doing right now is trying to scramble for the last hour fifteen to get as much done today as I can.

I’m also tossing out that cereal. No way do I even eat cereal… let alone that stuff. It’s a shame… it’s like 10 containers of the stuff, but I eat cereal so slowly so…

Tomorrow, I’m planning a day of detoxing and refueling. Not with any weird poop-teas, but just writing up a list of beverages I can have to help my stomach out.

Oddly enough, it’s the same stuff I always eat. I don’t drink juice either, but I have it here in case my blood sugar tanks again.

Methinks I’m going to be peeing like a racehorse for the next four days.

… Brought it on myself.

And I’ll feel so much better in the AM. I just know it.

~J. Lyst