Hey, Miss J!

I still have days when my mood goes down. What I like so much about my mood stabilizer is that I can’t go down but so far. I never linger there. It’s very nice… a wonderful change from what I’m used to.

I’m still getting used to having clarity of thought.

While I’m still fretting over the future… thus far… I’m not chewing my nails – let alone my knuckles – as I did years ago from stress. My stomach isn’t upset.

I worried myself ill… then I’d get depressed and worried because I felt so fragile… It was one of those ghastly self-fulfilling prophecies.

“I am ill, and I won’t feel better…” Which results in me worrying myself sick and not feeling well at all. This enhances ailments… and turns into a dizzying loop.

OR

“I am worthless, I’ll never amount to anything…” Low self-esteem, which results in depression, and that leads to even lower feelings of self-worth and self-loathing. Feeling like this will stifle anything that could have been done, which only adds to perceiving oneself as unimportant and useless.

Knowing how dreadful the result can be, I really do try to choose my words carefully with other people.

It doesn’t take much at all to be kind… but there’s a whole lot of heartache in store otherwise.

Still… if I need to be blunt, I will be.

I’m nearly done with tonight’s reading and chores… so then I have some options. Work on my assignment or work on my writing…

To be fair though… I wanna do the writing!

~J. Lyst

Thank you so much, to everyone who stuck around while I’ve staggered through my own personal bouts of madness. That doesn’t mean they’re over, but I’m trying my hardest to keep them at bay.

Au revoir! A bientot!