Hey, Miss J!

Listening to music like this always makes me feel so happy. Just… to be happy. I don’t need a particular thing that I’m happy about really.

Do I?

Though the lyrics might have a lot to do with it. Unlike in the past, listening to music like this doesn’t make me feel so overwhelmingly lonely.

I spent most of the morning in bed, which meant that I wasn’t able to check that off my list. It also meant that I took my meds late… because I ate late. I was more concerned about not being able to take my meds than food.

It’s very strange, but I haven’t had much appetite lately. Maybe it’s due to the meds?

Or maybe I’m still muddling through some things.

Am I depressed again? I don’t know. I’m still trying to take care of some basic things, especially regarding my hygiene. Also, as I unfortunately found out, staying up late working on study notes doesn’t matter if you’re too tired to focus at all. Seeing double is no something I want to deal with much.

I have a few things to do for the furball tonight, some reading and then hitting the sack.

I also want to share part of “The Sweetest Treat” here.

This is the opening:

—

Sunsets were so nice. Even though he knew it was dangerous to look directly at the sun, it still didn’t dismiss their appeal. He had plenty of time to think while he sat on the apartment steps outside. Often, he had so many questions that swirled around in his head.

Am I doing the right thing? Shouldn’t there be more than this?

Frequently, his reverie turned up with no results.

The overhead clouds were a mixture of differing shades of blue and gray. The billowy patterns made him think of watching her as she worked on a watercolor painting. Her brushstrokes were definitive and sure. She was never afraid of making mistakes. He’d watched her get paint on her hands and flick her fingers right at the painting afterwards.

An accident, but a positive reaction.

The results were always dazzling to him.

Could he be the same way someday?

Leaning back on his hands, he squinted at the glow of burnt sienna he could see peaking from under the cloud cover.

Everything he saw filled him with both awe and tension. Bright blue was still visible in part of the sky, burnished gold licking around the lower edges.

The breathtaking view made him feel very small in comparison. It made him curious – about many things.

What was the true size of those clouds? How far away was the sun behind them?

Just how much dynamic energy shone down on them every day? Could it ever be measured by anyone?

From a scientific point of view, he knew some of the answers to those questions.

How accurate were they though?

No human had ever touched the surface of the sun.

How could they?

So how did they know how hot it was?

“We’re all so small and feeble really,” he muttered. Inhaling deeply, a small smile crossed his lips. Being a ‘superhero’ had its limits. He had certainly learned that.

—

~J. Lyst

Got to show my friends my art today too. It was… really nice. My entire technique has changed. Instead of starting off with harsh lines, I start off with my H pencils to do some light sketches first.

Next time I do some art therapy, maybe I’ll sit on the front and sketch one of the trees? I don’t often do the entire plant if I do… might focus on the roots at first.