Time: 11:04pm
Date: July 2, 2022
This time, I wasn’t late for an update because I didn’t want to mention anything. I was in such a rush to get prepared for Friday morning and Saturday morning that I literally couldn’t sit down to write much at all.
I enjoy the 1st Friday of the month, even though it can be a pain for me.
Only some of my friends are aware, but I have literally $0 in terms of income. Seriously. The only income I have received from my book so far is $0.75. And in US currency, that amounts to literally nothing at all.
So… On those days – 1st Fridays, I go to pick up the free food brought by the local food bank. It requires me to get on the road and travel over a half hour to pick up what might end up being nothing at all. I have to be there by 7:30AM in the morning.
The trip alone takes an incredible toll out on my body. To drive, I can’t take the medication for my anxiety, which means that I’m on literal pins and needles until I can get my meds. And since there’s such a risk… after a certain point, I don’t take the meds at all.
However, the medication that drives me insane (almost) is still in my body.
The 1st Sunday, there is a place that gives out free cat food and free cat litter. I go there too. Sometimes they have free treats and/or flea meds.
How do I get money to even keep the car on the road? Let alone pay any bills?
Such as the nightmare of a vet bill I can feel incoming for my big boy?
My family is still trying to figure out that one.
They never will.
The 3rd – 7th of the month, I go grocery shopping – which requires me to leave this state entirely. I hit only two stores. I say the 3rd – 7th because the window is quite wide at that point.
Any who, we go out and get food. I have a friend that rides with me. Her friendship has been invaluable to me. We get to hang out a bit, but again… I’m off my meds. By the time I get home to get on them, my eyes are nearly rolling around in my head.
… It can get pretty bad.
Since the 4th of July is on Monday, we’ll pick another day. Which means I can be drugged to my heart’s content and sleep like the dead at night.
That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? But to be asleep and away from the anxiety is better than being awake and experiencing it.
I’m working on that scheduling bit and right now am working on chapter 15 of NtC. I’m gonna plan out quite a few days between so I can rest and pursue other things.
It seems like I’ll never get the chapter done, right? However, to me… it only takes maybe 3 days if that or 4 to pound out a 30+ page chapter.
I need to schedule time for video and/or audio editing. Time also needs to be penned out for PC learning. If I still can.
Hmm… I also need to take the car through inspection. And I wanna go there a week ahead as usual… to avoid any chaos.
Hahaha…
Ugh.
Till Then!
XXO
~ J. Lyst
Hey, Miss J! 
Your Thoughts?