Hey, Miss J!

I can’t even be that upset today. The sudden drops in energy I experienced were concerning, but it was also pretty odd for me to wake up before 7am. On average, I try to fit in 7 hours of sleep or more. I didn’t achieve that at all today. I think I got up around 6:30 or 6:40? I’m uncertain.

To avoid hitting “SNOOZE” too often, I’ll actually set my phone across the room.

And since I had to go see my psychiatrist today, I tried to get up extra early.

I still ended up arriving on time but late still because of needing to do a basic check-up beforehand. I also had to go out with my cane since my left knee wanted to go cave-in before I was done going down a single step.

These days, I can easily describe my gait as sometimes smooth, but mostly like a drunken sailor. In winter, it’s more like a drunken, blindfolded sailor.

Oh well.

At least I have a purpose to my relentless wobbling when I go places. One of the few things I dislike is how I sometimes have to splay my legs apart to maintain my balance.

Of late, I’ve been dealing with weakness in one or both legs. I used to be able to stand up without feeling my muscles screaming in complaint. Now, I can feel the muscles twitching furiously, and I honestly don’t know if it’s due to my nerves or due to the muscles themselves being weak.

Well, my primary is also concerned about a DVT, but hopefully both of my legs are okay. I have some scans coming up for them. =(

Maii legesss!

Though if I suddenly disappear and never post a blog again (or a chapter), that might indicate something happened. With either the legs or anything else in my body deciding to give up without warning.

Let’s not think about that though.

Aside from a few hiccups with my medication in terms of side effects, I’ve been okay. I can’t really complain too much.

Since the apparently largest triggers of my emotions being unstable aren’t around at all right now, I’ve been quite well.

I’m adding to the list of what I like about myself.

Though I am grateful for the friend who told me that I was beautiful, I don’t quite accept that as unbiased fact.

I do acknowledge that I look completely different with lip colors. Now that I have someone that can help me get better at doing my makeup – if you want to call lip colors and mascara that – with reduced risk of me poking out an eye, I’m becoming interested again.

Still, in the instance that she sees this…

Things I Like:

• My writing. I write fiction primarily. I excel in writing: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance. I haven’t written horror in a long time. I avoid fantasy like the plague it is. It was suggested that I look into writing a Children’s book.
• My cooking & baking. I love experimenting.
• Being able to help friends with PC/mobile/tablet issues.
• I’m ‘articulate’, with a very large vocabulary. That’s mostly due to using a thesaurus, but we’ll go there.
• I apparently am pretty. I might have to daily tell myself that in the mirror, so I believe it.
• I am a singer.
• I have a frighteningly good memory when it comes to medical details or facts. Or other random things that never seem important till I need them later.

Huh.

That list is a lot nicer looking than the last one.

I feel like today’s blog was a lot nicer, with less of me upset over things I have no control over.

And today, I only felt like a hamster in a cage, not one in a wheel.

What does a wheeled hamster-me feel like?

We’ll talk about that later.

Till Then!

~ J. Lyst

PS: Hey! I made it before midnight, so it still counts as June 22, 2022!!

Thank you, Michael Bolton. I too can go the distance.