Hey, Miss J!

There comes a time in your life where you have to choose.

Do you want to stay in the same rut or stretch out?

For me, I have chosen to go straight down the middle. There are many things in life that I’ve had just growing stagnant, but at the same time, there have been many things that I’m just now trying.

Such as trying to take care of myself ahead of everyone else. I don’t remember the last time that I’ve been this determined to focus primarily on myself alone. Maybe that was pre-2006? I don’t know.

I’ve been a caretaker for so many years, and it is true that you can suffer from burn-out. I have done is so long though, for my grandfather, then my mother, then my father and aunt.

I’m done.

I don’t want to have to do that again. It’s especially difficult when people you are caring for show how much they do not appreciate what you have done for them.

I don’t like being yelled at.

I don’t enjoy being belittled.

I don’t want to be told that I’m too slow or too fast. If anything, I ride right between these. I go at the correct pace for many things.

My aversion to being around people flares up when I have to handle issues for my family primarily. However, I do open up to a few people around me.

So while at first, I assumed I was a hermit – especially since COVID began, I’m starting to see myself as a partial-hermit.

Not always willing to be around people, but doing it if necessary.

The attitudes of those I encounter will have an effect on how often (if ever) that I’m around them. I’m not alone in this.

First impressions, right? What if that terrible first impression continues during the next ten+ encounters?

That would indicate you shouldn’t be around that person… right? What if that person is you though? How do you escape yourself?

Something else new is me attempting to find things about myself that I like. I’ve explained before that I am positively obsessed with my own writing. It’s a huge stroke to my ego when I can sit back and enjoy what I’m reading.

There’s no fear of being startled when I’m the writer.

So things I like…

• My writing
• My cooking
• … (Oh dear)

I want to say my singing, but I feel like I sound like a child when I sing.

I need to work on that list. It is teeny tiiiny.

I’m also partially delirious from a smidgen of dehydration and because I’ve been awake over thirteen hours already and it’s not even 5:30PM yet…

This blog probably was hard to follow. My apologies.

Till Then

~ J. Lyst