Hey, Miss J!

Oh, the limits of the flesh.

It bothers me to have to say this. It’s 1:48 in the morning and I’m sitting in a wooden chair, struggling to maintain decent seated posture…but I’m aching so much that I don’t want to force myself. I just want to lay down in bed and just sleep.

Because it’s late – after midnight, I’m doing a load of laundry and washing some dishes. I’m frustrated because I already know I’m going to wake myself up around 4AM to throw all the clothes in the dryer.

Why so early? I’m to the point of needing my cane again… and my knees and back are only getting worse. My physical therapist doesn’t want me bending down too far or raising my arms above my shoulders.

But I need to get dressed, and I also need to tie my shoes. And clean up behind the cats.

So that means that I have to hobble down the stairs with a cane (with my laundry bag), and if I don’t get up early enough to dry my clothes, I doubt I’ll be able to physically do it later on.

I tell you; you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced the nightmare of losing your balance – and by chance managing to regain it – with no free hand to hold onto anything… while traveling on wooden stairs. Both knees are bad, but I can only use a cane for one at a time.

And I choose the one that’s the most severe.

It’s pretty sad. Most people might see me on the brief and odd day that I actually leave the house and assume I’m normal. After all, I’m in my thirties, so I should still be relatively healthy, right?

No…

I’ve been so frustrated with myself that I haven’t wanted to get online… Not for this.

I have so much work that I’ve been doing around the house too, despite the issues with my back. At current, I’m busy staring at my fluffy… super fuzzy baby – sitting on my recently polished end table.

I can’t summon up the energy to be angry. Because I’m going to have to use more pledge on the table again, and I need the energy for wiping.

I’ve sat here for less than 10 minutes and watched her walk from my end table, jump onto my minifridge, back to the end table and then leap onto the piano.

All areas I dusted.

And for what?

Still, I can say that cleaning things and having them look nice strokes my ego.

And… now she’s back on the piano. It’s like she can’t decide which hard and wooden surface to sit her backside on.

I’m adding more pledge to my basket as I speak.

Strange… I thought this update would be a short one.

I’ve been addressing additional health issues that I was ignoring. I’m angry with myself because ignoring things like I have could prove to be very detrimental to me in the long term if I don’t hurry up and get stuff fixed.

I’ve been working on some video edits and TikToks. I totally think I forgot to mention those. For both of my accounts – both YouTubes – I created separate TikTok accounts. Updating once a week means I have twice the number of videos to edit.

My sleeping pattern has stabilized. I’m not sure if I mentioned that either. I normally would backtrack and look over old posts or listen to old recordings, but not right now.

I want my focus to be (sort of) laser sharp and directed forwards… not backwards.

My mood has been kind of even. As soon as I get my two uploads for this week set, I’ll be done.

Then it’s onwards to record for next week. And time to resume working on OA and NtC. Open Arms and Navigating the Curve.

Oh! And D3. What’s D3? It’s my book, that I should have over halfway edited by now. Oops…

I still need to pen in time for piano and crocheting this week. Should I record that?

I don’t know if anyone wants to look at my hands for that long…

Until next time!

~ Miss J.

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