I could have helped myself a lot a long time ago if I had acknowledged that the opinions of others didn’t truly bear the weight I gave them.
I ended up in a pattern of being a recluse. Being a recluse and having BPD is not good.
I also made unnecessary decisions in line with the thoughts and opinions of others.
And in all reality, being bipolar is already hard enough. Add in BPD, then it’s like someone lacing the punchbowl with speed. Then, put that nightmarish union together with being reclusive.
You then have me.
Fearful of what others think about me.
Don’t want people to think something is wrong with me. Because that would be something negative people would think about me.
Low sense of self, so sees self as disturbing people who have “entire lives.”
Trying to convince self that all is fine.
Feel disgusting so want to avoid others.
Crying because of being so lonely.
~J. Lyst
Hey, Miss J! 
Your Thoughts?