Hey, Miss J!

Tired. So tired… and injured. And bleeding. Kitten was spayed today and within 2 hours had already cracked her E-Collar. I got her this recovery vest and she thanked me by clawing my hands and arms up and gouging a hole into the side of the vest.

Left one leg unsnapped so she has a better chance to go to the bathroom.

… It can be so annoying when I get clawed by her, when I’m trying to help her.

I think I’ve looked over ways to give her up about 35 times now. Each time, I hold back because she is a member of my family now. I also acknowledge that her nearly ‘rabid’ behavior is due to her age. Around 1-2 years of age, she should start mellowing out.

I have a lesson and reading to do. I will finish the lesson in the AM. I’m too tired right now.

Which is extremely annoying, but if I try now, I’ll spend hours trying not to fall asleep at the computer and still not complete it correctly.

~J. Lyst

More tomorrow… I think. Hopefully, the current recovery vest will hold up until the new ones arrive.

Ugh… So much money spent on this cat. After she and the older one die, I’m never getting another cat. Too much work.

I have too little patience and not nearly enough physical, emotional, or mental energy to keep pushing on. Will I miss the company? Yes. However, the lack of fur on everything will help, along with the lack of needing to pay all the time for pet related things. As it is, this kitten by herself has blown my entire budget out for the next year in food, toys, medical… etc.

Utterly insane…

I’m also getting frustrated, because I can feel myself constantly teetering back and forth over paying anything else for her.

Surrender her or keep her or surrender her or keep her…

I just spent about $3,000 on her in 2 months. I might be rolling my eyes right now.

… I am so glad I don’t have kids. I’m realizing that my fragile mind might have caved under all the pressures and requirements. A friend of mine is babysitting a newborn.

He’s fresh, like literally 7 days old today. She has help thankfully.

Me?

Oh no. Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

… Yunno what? Maybe I’ll try to pound out the rest of my lesson.

Because I am a glutton for punishment. And have a ginger beer to keep me company.

Tomorrow is a day of additional chaos… and additional updates to my budget and payments. So far, I’ve only spent $13 out of $50 for this month in gas.

Oh! And on a pleasant note… spoke with my aunt today. She told me that she was so sorry I was going through so much. Especially with my back. And, then she asked me how on earth I was able to get out of bed every day.

I told her that it was, “sheer force of will.” If I want to eat and live and have stuff paid, I have to get up to at least stagger to the computer and pay for things.

Doctors’ visits… I can’t manage the drive there. So I catch the bus, and that brings on a whole other slew of problems.

Today, I nearly fell out behind the wheel. To be fair, I had to drive two hours to take the cat in to get spayed, pick up her supplies and return two (or three) items, and then get my lunch. I also had to pick her up in the middle. Each trip there was about 30 minutes or so…

Up there = 30. Back home = 30.

There and back twice = 2 hours.

MAPS claims it was 2 hours and 36 minutes that I was on the road.

My watch also claims that I walked over 3 miles on top of that. How, I have no real idea.

… No wonder I feel like death and have a pounding headache.

Pfft.

This would be the real ending for this blog post.

~J. Lyst signing out for tonight!