Hey, Miss J!

I’ll note first that what I’m listening to is a song by I-Ten called “Alone”. I just emerged on the side of a mental bender.

Again.

This is a few weeks after we stepped down my dose back to manageable levels due to the pain I was experiencing in my legs and the chronic fatigue all over my body.

I’m still dealing with a problem that flared up when my dose went to 450. Maybe it was because it went that high for over a month? A few days ago, I managed to walk for a little and then sat on the floor to do weight training. I can’t by any imaginable stretch do my weight lifting exercising while standing anymore, but sitting is a possibility.

Then, I started being hit by a cascade of nearly impossible compulsions that I wasn’t able to fight off completely. My mind didn’t snap back into place until I took my anxiety pills.

The little bit of sleep I had resulted in me waking up, having soaked my sheets.

Again.

I always end up feeling the same… sick, disgusting and very sweaty when this stuff flares up. It’s like I’m running a marathon, but it’s in my own skin.

I seem to have developed either PGAD or FOD, which isn’t a condition that I would wish on anyone.

Have I had that all along? There’s really no way for me to tell. If so, the meds enhanced and aggravated everything.

I just thought I was some sort of freak of nature. I’m still not entirely convinced that’s not the truth.

All I can do now is try to shoulder forward.

I’ve also purchased ice packs to use.

So, we’ll see how those go.

Now we’re back to a familiar stress-busting hobby. Writing.

I did not stop, no, but I did take a bit of time off last week to pursue other interests and goals. Here is a snippet. It is not a full snippet, but from entirely separate sections of the chapter – which is currently on page 23.

Chapter 15 of NtC might not be up till Sunday… or next Monday.

~~~

• Section Sliced

AU …

Carefully sliding from under her head – setting a pillow in place, Peter sat down in front of the couch and allowed himself to relax. He didn’t feel right taking any space from her at all. And she needed a lot of space. What could have happened…

Leaning back with his head touching her side, Peter exhaled heavily.

Feeling a large hand rest on his head a few minutes later would have terrified him under normal circumstances. Instead, he merely looked up, seeing green fingers and nails. He heard her clearing her throat and waited patiently. It was difficult for her to wake up in the evening under normal circumstances.

Now?

They were in strange territory.

“Mmm… Any reason you’re down there, Pete?” she asked. Her voice was huskier than normal from sleep.

Grasping her hand, he kissed her wrist. “You need rest… lots of sleep, remember?”

• Section Sliced

MU …

Instead of responding, she pressed her forehead against the wall. It felt cool to the touch. If I stay still long enough, she thought with displeasure, I should be able to just walk out of here.

“Jennifer, what’s wrong?” the voice spoke up again.

With reluctance, Jennifer turned her head, staring flatly at Susan. “Nothing to worry about,” she finally said, green eyes squeezing closed at a sudden surge of nausea. “No,” she grunted, fresh sweat popping out of her forehead. Her face contorted. I can’t! Not now! When she woke up, she felt fine.

Too bad it hadn’t lasted.

The green woman was in a very inflexible spot. The severe churning in her guts was worsening, and she couldn’t move.

Anxious, Susan rushed over to her. “What are you doing in here alone?” she asked.

~~~

I don’t know what I’ll do after I’m done with OA and NtC. I’ve been working on them for literal years now.

Is there a different fandom I can dabble in?

We’ll have to see.

I also just realized that I haven’t been doing much in terms of “goofball”ery here. Or at least not showing that much joy. Or goofiness.

Yes, goofiness is a word.

I usually reflect my sense of humor in my writing… such as in this snippet from Chapter 13 of Navigating the Curve:

~~~

• Section Sliced

AU …

Uncertainty flickered in Jen’s eyes.

“I can do it, Jenny.” Peter reached out for her phone and carefully reversed the view after Jen smoothed down the shirt over her belly. He knew she was timid over her changing shape.

A low whistle came through the speakers. “My my!” Mallory commented, seeing the distinctive curve Jen had under her clothing. “Well, that explains why he doesn’t have a shirt on.”

Jen’s cheeks remained red. “Umm… He lets me wear them. They don’t feel as restrictive as my pajama shirts do right now.”

“I also noticed that you’re not wearing any pants.” Mallory continued, rubbing her chin. She wasn’t disappointed when she saw Jen reaching for her phone and the camera.

~~~

Of course, there was also Chapter 6, where this little gem happened:

~~~

• Section Sliced

AU …

“Oh no…” Jennifer’s voice came out in a croak, uncertainty in her voice. “How long have you been here?” Jennifer was staring up at him from where she was seated, her eyes threatening to jump from the sockets.

Peter returned her stare with an owlish expression. His hair was plastered to his forehead, still damp from the shower. He was holding a small cup of mouthwash, having put part of it in his mouth. What was he supposed to say? He was also still swishing the mouthwash awkwardly. Spitting out the mint flavored cleaner into the sink, he opened his mouth a few times… unsure what to say. He wasn’t the one who had barged into the bathroom, but he didn’t want to bring that up. “Umm… A while.” He blinked again, watching as Jennifer mirrored his actions.

She flinched, tugging her shirt further down between her legs. “Are you sure?” She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, having frozen in place. Her forehead and chest were flushing.

One of us has to move… Peter decided. With a sigh, he resumed gargling. The sooner he left, the sooner she could finish. He tossed the small paper cup into the trashcan, pausing because he had to maneuver around Jen’s legs to get out of the bathroom. “Huh… Strange.” He remarked, staring down at her.

“W-What?! What could be stranger than this?!” She felt her ears beginning to burn, as the blush spread.

He’d had to step so carefully – because she wasn’t moving out of the way – that he found himself staring right down at her knees and toes. “I thought you wore underwear to bed.” That made her pull her legs back in reflex, and it made his exit from the bathroom a lot smoother.

“Parker!” she hollered, mortified.

~~~

Yeah… I’m sure I have a very cheesy and corny – and sometimes dry sense of humor.

I’ll also note that Chapter 6 is one of the chapters up to revision. I’ll get to it eventually.

Well, time for me to go scurry off to do some writing for #15.

Till Then!

~J. Lyst

Yikes… I wrote “J. Lust” way too many times in a row.

… The irony makes me want to cry…