Hey, Miss J!

I missed yesterday. I know this.

I started working on chapter 14 and was so excited and hyped… I figured that the next day I would have an idea as to what I could write about.

Sometimes, we all just need a little refresher.

Current Time: 10:21pm.

I’m sitting here, nibbling on peanut butter and waiting for my dinner to finish cooking. Why do I cook so late at night?

No idea.

 When I worked, I had to get used to eating at all hours.

The types of meals have of course changed over the years.

Currently, the new food dehydrator is at work on some slices of apple. I now have 7 hours remaining out of the suggested 15 hours. In the AM, I plan on resuming some light exercise. If I can… and if I get this chapter up soon enough.

I was given an additional assignment yesterday too. My therapist wants me to start writing a schedule for myself.

We’ll see how that goes.

She also told me that the 11^th is her last day… which is depressing. It’s just like my other therapist. She mentioned setting me up with another therapist and working to transition me over – and I honestly hope I get another female therapist.

I have nothing against men, but I don’t want a male therapist. Certain aspects of my life, I don’t want to have any men involved.

Is that sexist of me? I don’t know. I just know that the majority of my physicians are women. Even my cardiologist is a woman.

The two male doctors I have started off rude and condescending from the start. One of them refused to do any additional tests on my back unless it was in preparation for surgery.

The same doctor had me do some mobility tests, then asked me why he had. And when I asked him why, he responded with: “Well, you’re a smart young woman…”

I wanted to smack the taste out of his mouth. But I’m working towards maintaining a peaceful state of mind so…

I’m a smart young woman, yes… but that doesn’t mean that I deserve to be belittled. It did not help that I already knew that as a black woman my complaints would get ignored, but he pretty much nailed a lid on that coffin and solidified it.

He didn’t believe I had any problem at all until he saw my X-Rays…

Oop! Deteriorating disc in my back, more severe than any he’s seen before of someone my age.

So I have additional back pain now… what the point of telling him? He keeps pushing for me to get a fusion, and I told him flat out no. I know what spinal fusions do.

If I want to be even less flexible and have even more debilitating pain, then I would agree to a fusion.

It’s so irritating.

Because I know if I was a man, I would have been treated with at least a modicum of dignity.

How explosive will Chapter 14 be?

We’ll find out.

I can intimate this… that I went from 0 to page 28 last night. Today, I’m near page 36, so editing should begin shortly thereafter.

That’s it, I spose.

Till Then,

~ J. Lyst