Hey, Miss J!

I am a simple person who has simple desires. At least to me.

Since 2020 happened, I’ve been struggling and fighting the duality of my own personality. I find myself to be quite contrary.

• Focused, but unable to complete seemingly simple tasks.
• Creative, but quick to give up easily and abandon ideas.
• Brave, but too frightened to tell my friends when I need help.
• Driven, but constantly stopping at little ‘bumps’ in the road.

Some of those qualities look exactly the same to me. Never before in my life have I ever gotten so far with any kind of writing… aside from my novel – which might I add is still sitting needing really a complete rewrite. I wonder if that would turn it into a brand-new book, because the ‘revisions’ for it will be extreme.

I’m struggling to edit 2 chapters of NtC simultaneously because a ‘preview’ for one requires the other to be done. Before you mention how editing for me is easy… Each of my chapters are no less than 22 pages in length.

My novel – in contrast – was written in 2013. It stands at only 96 pages. If it’s fixed correctly, it’ll end up being twice or three times as long.

Often, I see 2013 as the final year of me ever being creative in anything at all. It’s taken time for me to convince myself that anyone would want to read what I’ve written.

That it’s any good.

My friend, thank you for that.

I say this, knowing that she might never see this blog or even hear the podcast.

I say it because it needs to be said.

I like to feel appreciated. All of us do.

I’m half between being grateful and feeling frustrated because it took medication (two types!) to try to calm the constant tempest surging and swirling around in my mind.

Avoiding my family unfortunately seems to be the main factor helping me now too.

So, to the relative who requested, received a copy of my book, had me autograph it… only to tell me that they wouldn’t read it at all because they only read what caught their fancy…

Well.

How do I offer a gracious bow and wave at the same time through simple characters on the screen?

Since they assume I’m such a simpleton, I’m certain they can figure it out.

It’s not hard.

~ J. Lyst