Hey, Miss J!

Did you know that this blog has narration? Check out “Miss Lyst’s Murmurings” to hear them.

Time: 1:11AM

Mood: Groovin’

Sometimes I find humor in the fact that I can be so hyper focused and organized in one aspect of my life… while there’s ongoing tumult in another. My sleeping schedule is a complete wreck. I want to blame my new medications, but I never had regular resting periods. I’ve had days where I couldn’t function on ten hours and far too many when I was able to work competently with 2-4 hours of sleep.

Most of those days I ran on painkillers and coffee. The weekends were special. I would down three cups on Saturdays and 5 cups on Sundays. Daily, I munched on Kopiko Cappuccino candy like it was nothing. I’d even have it in my mouth while downing coffee. Does that sound terrible?

At the time, I wasn’t too concerned. I dumped whatever I wanted into the tank and kept forcing myself to keep going.

Mental and emotional fatigue was pushed to the wayside. I figured…

Since I was still moving that nothing was wrong.

I couldn’t resist grinning here at the irony of those days compared to today. Now, I spend my time drinking tea or sneaking in the forbidden single “caffeine” laced crystal light.

I call it sneaking because my friends are heavily invested in making sure I’m okay. They scold me for having caffeine with the health problems I have.

It’s nice to have people that are genuinely concerned about me just because it’s me.

In the past, my value was in what I could do for other people. If it put too much pressure on me or hurt me, it didn’t matter… as long as they got what they wanted out of me.

Now, I tend to drink more water than anything.

Tonight, I suppose I’m celebrating an accomplishment as well I suppose? A few days ago, I started working on Chapter 9 of “Navigating The Curve”. Over the course of three nights of what I would deem lazy writing sprints in the Discord server I’m on, I’ve managed to get to page 22.

Pics or it didn’t happen?

It doesn’t make much sense, I know. My last writing spree, I penned over 900 words in 30 minutes. It’s a massive accomplishment for me. For some of my writing companions, that’s very small potatoes.

But…

Instead of running myself into the ground trying to finish the chapter in two nights, I’m taking my time writing it. Editing will no doubt take me 3-4 hours. I’m game for it, as long as I have nothing else to do.

Other activities are taking precedence over my writing. I think putting priorities in place is what’s helping me do so well now.

I’m a writer, but that’s not all I am. I’m multifaceted, just like everyone else. I want to spend time relaxing, reading and watching videos as well.

Mentally… I’m beginning to do better. I try not to focus on that too much, but it’s hard not to. Still… I don’t want to break what might be behind it. Or scare it away…

We’ll see how much the pills are helping. Or if they cause more problems over time.

I’ve already had my first nightmare.

It was a doozy, but fun at the same time.

That’s it I suppose. Good thing.

It’s 1:34 in the morning now.

Do you know where I should be?

~ Miss J.

Shameless Plugs:

Navigating the Curve can be found on Fanfiction.net and ArchiveOfOurOwn. Drop by for a read if you’re interested.